Sunday, May 28, 2006

TAG!!! You're It!!!...or not...I'm flexible


Okay...I got tagged...and now have the dubious honor of revealing to you all a "Five Things In My..." Categories below: (I told you...Fun and brainless for a while...)

FRIDGE:
Rice Milk
Eggs
Asparagus
Hershey's Syrup
Sun tea

(note: as I just CLEANED my refrigerator, and a heavenly choir now sings whenever I open the door, this list is nearly the entire content of said fridge!)

PURSE:
Gum (Stride...I highly recommend..."A Ridiculously Long Lasting Gum" is their slogan...my record: 85 minutes...beat that Orbit!)
Sweet Rain perfume oil
Keys
My lucky Mardi Gras token (Bacchus)

CAR:
A lamp (to be repaired or trashed)
CD's
A leather jacket (no room in the closet)
Jumper cables (somewhere)
A Kooky Crayon Maker (goodwill wouldn't take it - they have gotten AWFUL picky lately)

THINGS I DID TODAY:
finished a crappy book
found carpenter ants under my deck
found carpenter bees IN my deck (they chew louder than the ants)
called for a quote on a new deck
was late for a kickin' birthday party for a friend's little girl!...that was the high point of my day...and did I ever need it!

THINGS I ATE TODAY
cookies and cream Dibs
sushi
hot dogs and fabu pasta salad
birthday cake/ice cream
and am gonna' eat something now...probably an omelet with items listed above...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Learning your ABC's...

(okay - I promised to lighten up with these posts...this is lighter, but I can't get off this writing kick lately...I'll get back to freestyle from the hip soon - I promise...just gotta get this stuff out of my system!)

It was St. Patrick’s Day 2000, and I had met my parents for a traditional, liquor soaked, Irish Breakfast. The pub was crowded, a pennywhistle was playing a lively reel, and haze clung heavily to the tawny sunlight saturating the room. The aroma of breakfast fare and fresh baked soda bread was peppered with the pungent tang of pipe tobacco.

“Let’s go to Ireland” my mother blurted.
We fell quiet, then broke out laughing.
“Today?” I grinned, and polished off my pint.
“No, September – all 20 of us – a reunion!” she smiled. The ice in her empty whisky tumbler clinked and the glass made a resolute “thunk” as she set it on the polished oak table.

This breakfast set in motion a chain of events that saw this seemingly off the cuff quip become reality. Holidays had sparse turnouts due to a long family history of personality conflicts. It seemed that bringing us to our collective identity, Ireland, was the only way to bring us together at all. While faced with an unfamiliar dialect at the airport, I realized that families are a lot like other countries: just because you share an alphabet doesn’t mean you speak the same language.

Our arrival in Shannon was chaotic, we had lost luggage, people and car reservations. Since Ireland is an “English speaking country“, I hadn’t given a thought to possible language barriers, until Customs. The agent told me the “crack” was great in Limerick, our destination, and “You’ll ‘ave good fun widdit“. That got my attention. I started noticing more as we waited: diapers were nappies, naps were kips; pacifiers were dummies, a dummy was a plonker, kids were snappers and craic (“crack”) was good humor.

My kids were famished, so I ordered a lemonade and a ham sandwich at the deli. The clerk queried:
“D’ja mean a lemon-squash or an Orange Club?”
Feeling stupid I said, “Water’s fine.“
“An’ woodja’ be havin’ a salad witcher sanwich?”

I learned the hard way this meant cabbage slaw ON the sandwich, not leafy greens next to it.

We found Ma in the shadow of her luggage. She was old-fashioned, a real Mary Hick; she had packed two of everything. One set could be checked through, and she could carry on a miniature version, “just in case“. Her bags were crammed full of everything from hand sanitizer and toilet seat covers to groceries (messages) and clean underwear (drawers) – all of which she offered at every opportunity.

I scanned the rest of our weary group. My younger sister had disappeared into the nearest restroom (bog/jacks) with her substantial cosmetic bag for a complete makeover. My older brother Terry and his kids were just the opposite - bumpkins (bogtrotters). Terry’s hair stood on end and he needed three shaves; his clothes had given up all hope of ever being washed and were just hanging on for dear life – he was in complete flitters. He couldn’t have cared less. Terry lived life on his own terms, which made him a “black sheep” to some.

We discovered that my brothers Tim and John had missed their connections. Tim was a confirmed bachelor, world traveler and unapologetic (except around mother) pot smoker. He was a millionaire who wore only tracksuits and runners. He was miserly but fun, and fiercely loyal. He’d give you the shirt off his back, but you’d better buy him a new one in return. John had been away the longest. Time and distance were his self-imposed penance for an alternative lifestyle. In the States, he smoked cigarettes and was a fag; in Ireland he smoked fags and was a steamer.

Given the glaring differences between us, it’s no wonder we rarely got together. I guess between the rednecks, yuppies, dreamers, snobs and slackers that are my family, it had always been easier to underline differences rather than remember commonalities. A family reunion in a foreign country ultimately helped us remember those common threads: love, family, heritage, and failing all else, an alphabet.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

“I Can See Clearly Now…”

As I reflect on my life, my memories seem to run like a video tape through a VCR. I rewind and fast-forward, sometimes pausing at happy memories; other times I stop at more sobering events that seem to stand alone. Our memories mark milestones, turning points and celebrations. In this case, a recollection of a time when my mother gave me something I couldn’t give myself: Hope.

It was March 1997, and I was getting ready to take a vacation with my children. My pre-trip checklist included an eye exam - something I only did when my glasses broke; they had.
“One…or two?” asked the optometrist.
“One.”
“Two…or three?”
“Uhmmm…”
(Eyeglasses are one prescription you can’t blame the doctor for if they’re wrong.)
“Three?”
The doctor flipped on the fluorescents overhead.
“I can’t figure it out, Ms. Murray, but I can’t seem to get your vision back to 20/20.”
“Maybe I should’ve said two not three.” I half-jokingly wondered aloud. I decided to go on vacation and consult a “more capable” doctor when we returned.
For those next six months, my video memories are strung in soundless blurs. Every once in a while, the tape slows to quarter-speed, and faceless doctors drawl:
“I want you to see a specialist…”
“Close your eyes - does this feel sharp or dull?”
“We’ll have to run more tests…”


I was drowning in a tsunami of words: lesions, neuropathies, lumbar puncture; then the shattering conclusion: Multiple Sclerosis. In an instant, I went from drowning to washing up on the beach gasping for breath. Grasping those words was like trying to clutch the air we breathe. The VCR was now eating the tape; the video comes to a grinding halt with a distorted image on the screen. “Are they NUTS?” I screamed in my head. “I went in for a freaking EYE EXAM!! I’m only 26...I have two kids, work - I’m NORMAL!”

I don’t remember leaving the doctor’s, but I do recall an immediate feeling of having been branded. Wasn’t I the same person I had been that morning? I didn’t feel any different but apparently I was.

I vividly remember standing in my parent’s kitchen, sobbing like a baby. I must have driven there. The video now flashes to my mother, her hands holding my face and wiping my tears. Strength in her eyes, voice cloaking a heart I am certain was breaking, “Shannon, we will get through this.” Her words will never leave me. Six words that gave me hope; that let me know I was not alone. Since that moment we have walked through this together, my family and I.


That was nearly ten years, and thousands of feet of “video” ago. Yes, my life has changed, but not in the ways I had imagined. Yes, it took time, and I have struggled to accept without surrendering. I never believed then that life would have more essence now than it ever did before; my mother did.


Thursday, May 18, 2006

If at first you don't succeed...

...Skydiving might not be your thing

Thanks Neighbor-friend!

To the Pale...

Marcie and I had a conversation a while back about summer, bathing suits and trouble spots...the usual hips, thighs, waist things. I jokingly commented that my body WAS the trouble spot - I do not turn any color but pink from May to August...and from my knees down, not even that! Sprays and creams turn orange on me, and well, they just look wierd...so I told her I had doubled my coffee intake in the hopes of absorbing pigment internally - like tea stains...I can DREAM can't I?

So this morning, in the shower, I decided it was time to shave my legs. Something I avoid in the winter - my excuse being that it adds a layer of warmth...really I am just lazy. Shaving is mandatory in the summer months, but at least with a winter fuzz on, from a distance, my legs don't blind people. Shorts are something that I have to work myself up to and it usually takes until July. I try them on for fit...then maybe I wear them around the house - just to let my eyes adjust to my glaring gams. I try on white shorts (hoping something paler than me will help), dark denim (thinking, why try to hide it?), and finally a khaki compromise...this process will go on for weeks...shaving, trying on, walking around the house with an ocassional venture to the mailbox and then finally retreating into my Old Navy jeans. The only thing that eventually coaxes me into shorts or a bathing suit is pure heat delerium. Have no fear, I pass out complimentary sunglasses when I go to the pool =)

Speaking of sunglasses, I wasn't always this self-conscious. I was raised to be proud of my Irish roots...and I am - on cloudy rainy days...but everyhting changed 7 years ago, one innocent day at work. I was a rep with a brokerage firm downtown. It was a relatively laid back office and we had summer hours and casual Fridays. The A/C broke conveniently on a Thursday, so we all decided since Fridays we closed at one, and there were no clients coming in, we would brave the heat, wrap-up the week and come in very casual: a la shorts (khaki bermudas of course...it is Wall Street!) The next morning, I came in, settled into my morning routine, called some clients and wrote up some trade tickets. My traders were in the bullpen, in a separate office. To "drop the tickets" or place my trades, I had to walk through the operations area of my firm. As I left my office, tickets in hand and walked in the Ops/Trading room, I said my "good Mornings" with my head buried in a newspaper. Halfway through the room I became conscious of snickering. I looked around, and every person in the room, cashiers, wire operators, security traders and analysts...all had put on their SUNGLASSES! We exploded in laughter, I placed my trades, returned to my office and stayed there! Now, we were all friends, and the prank was good-natured...but it definitely left a mark!

Here's to all the jean-wearin' chalk people everywhere!